旅記｜NIGHT BUDAPEST 布達佩斯
- SHERRY CHANG
- May 8, 2018
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 15, 2020
HUNGARY
When People Grow Up, They Grow Apart
It's like nothing will be the same anymore, the whole world will suddenly change.
“From Buda to Pest”
“As the more I travelled the far corners of the world, I started realising those different cities, and the names themselves have conjured up with extremely romantic images of histories, ambitions and possibilities.” I was fascinated how could all these countries have grown into such unique and individual civilizations. For me, Budapest is one of them, where I have admirably developed how I see this world and every single branch of my life.
Indeed, I sometimes feel little upside-down, having never been this far away from homes. However, the remoteness of the location has allowed me to think about my own life and my own ways of living. The different cultural barriers evidently have challenged the way how I see myself as either an insider or an outsider in this country. It's like we have strived to speak the same language to people who live here, but we are still not always on the same page, maybe because of the different music we listened, different books we read, different histories we learned, different jokes we made, or, totally different worlds.Naturally, these experiences have led me to examine my own life and the ways I live. I started to understand people from different background wholeheartedly with empathy, because how it really feels like, is like someone, stuck in the middle, struggling to gain a sense of belonging.
When people grow up, they grow apart.
I know from personal experiences how frustrating it can be when all your friends for life and family are separated. However, among all those difficulties or those things that drive me crazy, I believe there will always be someone who is there waiting for me no matter what. Consequently, one of the reasons why I kept sending postcards to my family whenever I visited any cities, is to let them know I know how lucky I am, and how much I hope they were here with me.
I will keep everyone updated on my forthcoming adventures ;)
布達佩斯
「在未來的人生裡都將時時想起自己其實如此幸福。」
我後來發現，人生最幸福的那些時刻，其實都發生在自己停止思考未來的每個瞬間。
在英國生活第九個月了，對我來說，回家變得越來越簡單也越來越難。
我們在大部分的人生裡孤軍奮戰，好像也不是變得有多獨立，只是那個有稜有角的心，在度過每次難關後漸漸有了更大彈性的忍耐力，對外人也變得更加寬容，就像在這裡的我們一樣，我們也是外人。外人是什麼意思呢，不單只是語言，有時是那道更深蒂固的文化隔閡，使我們即使努力說著同一種語言卻過著截然不同的生活，聽著不一樣的音樂，看著不一樣的書，讀著不一樣的歷史，開著不一樣的玩笑。一不小心，理所當然地被當成空氣其實稀鬆平常。
「不管在哪都辛苦。」
父親聽著聽著，這麼對我說。我愣住了，他怎麼會說這種話，難道回家不好嗎。
然而，原本刺痛我的話語卻也成為最理解我的，在我不斷墜落，想家又抗拒回家的每個挫折裡，那是一種被理解的力量，沈穩的安慰。我抑或是在世界的舞台上努力往前邁進但偶爾孤寂，或是帶著在海外教育或求職歷程裡建立起的思維，回到迥異的亞洲職場文化。不管在哪都辛苦，那自己真的要的是什麼呢，是不是可以再回到那塊安全網之前，再更勇敢一點呢。
布達佩斯是我和好友第一次在海外相遇的其中一個城市，我們聊起高中時期的成年禮還有靜山之旅，其中一個儀式是要矇著眼睛手牽手爬山，最後在滿懷感謝得哭得唏哩嘩啦。我記得當時我也寫了一封信給父母，但卻在還沒開口之前，就被自己哽咽的情緒搞的一句話都說不清楚。或許這也是我每到一個城市就會竭盡所能地寫幾封明信片回家的原因，想告訴他們我知道我有多幸運，也有多希望回頭的時候他們也在。
那時候的成年禮太淺太完美，沒有想過會隨著年紀漸漸地把自己和好友們拆的四散各地。但願這份不安與孤寂也同樣能使我們閃閃發光，我們是如此幸福。
Comments